http://lineout.thestranger.com/blogs/lineout/ Seattle's #1 Weekly Newspaper. Covering Seattle news, politics, music, film, and arts; plus movie times, club calendars, restaurant listings, forums, blogs, and Savage Love. en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. editor@thestranger.com (The Stranger Editor) webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Thu, 23 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Thu, 23 May 2013 18:30:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/14/todays-music-news-listen-to-folsom-prison-blues-while-actually-in-prison-sub-pop-turns-25-bieber-fever-is-a-real-thing-and-more http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/14/todays-music-news-listen-to-folsom-prison-blues-while-actually-in-prison-sub-pop-turns-25-bieber-fever-is-a-real-thing-and-more Kyle Fleck <p><strong>"MP3 players are a lot like televisions. They're a really good babysitter.":</strong> <em>SPIN</em> has a nice article about <a href="http://www.spin.com/articles/prison-jail-music-mp3s-access-jpay/">prisons granting inmates access to MP3 players.</a> Favorite detail: The guy who orders "King of Hearts" by Cassie&#8212;let's be pen pals!</p> <p><strong>Sub Pop is Throwin' Themselves a Silver Jubilee:</strong> To celebrate 25 years of being the cool kids on the block, Sub Pop is throwing a <a href="http://www.subpop.com/channel/blog/getting_to_know_us_sub_pops_silver_jubilee_lineup">free shindig in Georgetown </a>on July 13th, featuring Mudhoney, Shabazz Palaces and THEESatisfaction, J. Mascis, Father John Misty and more.</p> <p><strong>I Would Like to Tour with Justin Bieber:</strong> This kid's life is just pure insanity at this point. Vomiting on stage, almost having a piano fall on him, getting in trouble for his pet monkey, cops finding a bunch of weed on his tour bus... and that's just from memory! I don't even follow his career! Why would I? I'm a grown man! And now, <a href="http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/justin-bieber-concert-earnings-stolen-521806">according to the <em>Hollywood Reporter:</em></a> "[c]riminals reportedly pulled off an 'Ocean&#8217;s 11'-type stunt to nab an estimated $330,000 in cash" while the singer performed a Mother's Day show in Johannesburg, South Africa. One can hardly fathom what else is in store for Canada's boy wonder.</p> <p><strong>Billy Corgan is Righteously Angry About Another Thing: </strong> The Smashing Pumpkins frontman has <a href="http://www.mediapeta.com/peta/igc/Billy-Corgan-LH-NoInfo.pdf">written a letter to the restaurant chain California Pizza Kitchen </a>on behalf of his "friends at PETA", urging them to cease supporting dairy farmers who dehorn calves at their dairy farms. </p> <p><strong>The Reaction to Daft Punk's <em>Random Access Memories</em> Thus Far:</strong> &#8220;So I listened to this Daft Punk album once while browsing the web. I will now unveil my critique&#8221; &#8212; the Internet, 5/13/13&#8243; Quoth the inimitable <a href="https://twitter.com/mountain_goats">John Darnielle</a> of the Mountain Goats.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/14/todays-music-news-listen-to-folsom-prison-blues-while-actually-in-prison-sub-pop-turns-25-bieber-fever-is-a-real-thing-and-more#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16762594&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Breaking News Bieber Fever Party! 206 http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/05/14/todays-music-news-listen-to-folsom-prison-blues-while-actually-in-prison-sub-pop-turns-25-bieber-fever-is-a-real-thing-and-more?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16762594&id=comments 0 Tue, 14 May 2013 12:09:01 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/04/i-have-just-three-words-for-you http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/04/i-have-just-three-words-for-you Emily Nokes <p><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2302868/Justin-Biebers-monkey-taken-mother-10-weeks-old.html?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490">Bieber Monkey Scandal</a>.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/04/i-have-just-three-words-for-you#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16421597&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2013/04/04/i-have-just-three-words-for-you?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16421597&id=comments 0 Thu, 04 Apr 2013 15:39:15 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/11/21/todays-music-news-a-dog-a-sword-and-pee http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/11/21/todays-music-news-a-dog-a-sword-and-pee Pamela Sternin <p><strong>All Dogs Go To Heaven</strong>: Fiona Apple has cancelled a string of tour dates by issuing a hand written letter stating she will be with her ill pooch, <a href="http://pitchfork.com/news/48661-fiona-apple-writes-an-open-letter-canceling-tour-dates-asks-for-blessings-for-her-dying-dog-janet/">Janet</a> in her last of days. Keep your chin up, Miss Apple.</p> <p><strong>White for Black Friday</strong>: For the kitschy collector or frazzled friend of a musician, Jack White of the White Stripes brings you <a href="http://blogs.tennessean.com/tunein/2012/11/20/third-man-records-opens-novelties-lounge-on-black-friday/">Third Man Novelties Lounge</a> where anything from records, plastic figurines of an Airline guitar, and much more can be purchased and/or gifted.</p> <p><strong>We Like Pants Accidents</strong>: Pissed Jeans will be releasing their new album <em>Honeys</em> on Sub Pop this February! Listen to their new mp3 "Bathroom Laughter" <a href="http://pitchfork.com/news/48646-pissed-jeans-return-with-new-album-honeys-share-new-track-bathroom-laughter/">here</a>!</p> <p><strong>Slay Your Breakfast!</strong>: A pan fit for a Viking is now available from <a href="http://boingboing.net/2012/11/20/combat-kitchenware-a-frypan-w.html">Combat Kitchenware</a>. Get involved with their Kickstarter and impress your black metal friends.</p> <p><strong>Outta My Way, I'm a Motorist</strong>: Justin Beiber and Dude With a Video Camera have a curt conversation, hold up traffic, and piss off a section of L.A. The proof is in this annoying <a href="http://gawker.com/5962335/justin-bieber-continues-his-public-temper-tantrum-by-holding-up-traffic">video</a>.</p> <p><strong>The New Pop Queen Is...?</strong>: Rising to her 12th chart-topping single, <a href="http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1697792/rihanna-madonna-number-one-singles.jhtml">Rihanna</a> is giving Madonna and the Supremes a run for their money as far as Billboard Top 100 goes.</p> <p><strong>The Devil Keeps Me Cozy</strong>: Okay, this <a href="http://www.metalsucks.net/2012/11/20/now-slayer-make-christmas-sweaters-too/">Slayer sweater</a> is kinda fantastic but you can only find it in the UK! No love for the states, I see.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/11/21/todays-music-news-a-dog-a-sword-and-pee#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15345800&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Death Bieber Fever News Video http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/11/21/todays-music-news-a-dog-a-sword-and-pee?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15345800&id=comments 1 Wed, 21 Nov 2012 16:58:24 -0800 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/26/friday-night-line-out-giveaway-extravaganza http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/26/friday-night-line-out-giveaway-extravaganza Emily Nokes <p>We are NOT effing around with the newest, most <strong>SIZZLINGEST</strong> edition of the <strong>Friday Night Giveaway</strong>. Answer this Line Out trivia question and <strong>WIN BIG</strong>:</p> <p><strong><em>What was the name of the child born and raised in the post office line while Utilikilt Man pulled packages out of his hippie cart? </em></strong></p> <p>The first <strong>hot shot</strong> to answer correctly will receive the following incredible prizes:</p> <p>&#183; A Justin Beiber singing toothbrush (plays the songs "Baby" and "U Smile")!<br />&#183; A $4-off coupon for See's Candy (if you buy $40 worth, that is)!<br />&#183; A rose necklace I found in Cal Anderson Park a long time ago! <br />&#183; Two cough drop filled with cough suppressing goo! <br />&#183; Birthday candles!<br />&#183; TWO perfume samples!<br />&#183; A pumpkin spice lollipop (that tastes like Bath &amp; Body Works)!<a href="mailto:"></a></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/7286/1351300470-friday_night.jpg" alt="ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS." title="ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS. " width="500" height="373" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"></li><li class="imageCaption">ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS. </li></ul></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/26/friday-night-line-out-giveaway-extravaganza#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15113906&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Breaking News Sex Celeb Nightlife Hellevant Cats Bieber Fever Crap Party! Tonight Love Classic Win It! Shotgunning http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/26/friday-night-line-out-giveaway-extravaganza?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=15113906&id=comments 4 Friday Night Line Out Giveaway EXTRAVAGANZA ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS. Fri, 26 Oct 2012 18:20:36 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/09/into-the-storm-vomits-battle-yarn http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/09/into-the-storm-vomits-battle-yarn Trent Moorman <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="500" height="281" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fzUdFg6RJWE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>Vomit is trending, now that Bieber and everyone are getting into it. But the latest video from Seattle metal band <a href="www.rideintothestorm.com">Into the Storm</a> for their song &#8220;K&#8217;nuckles&#8221; (off the <em>Captains</em> EP) was filmed before Bieber made yuking popular. I take that back; vomit has been trendy for a minute. (See <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/07/24/she-vomit-in-high-heels-he-tundra">Popped Collar Block Party Vomit</a>, and <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/13/man-stares-at-his-own-vomit">Man Stares at His Own Vomit</a>.) Battle-yarn vomit, though, as evidenced by Into the Storm, this is new, and non-Bieber. There&#8217;s also a man screaming, and a small Claymation man stealing a ruby off a house. Into the Storm have just finished mastering an EP titled <em>Light Lovers and Heat Mongers</em>, which they tracked and mixed themselves - due out December 14 on 7" vinyl. The band&#8217;s guitarist, producer, and video director Matt Jahn spoke. </p> <p><strong>The video is hand made stop motion? How much weed do y&#8217;all smoke?</strong></p> <p>Yes. It's made from hand-made stop-motion filming. We like to make things hard on ourselves for some unknown reason. This is our second attempt at stop-motion animation leading to the production quality being slightly above the previous "Tearing Apart Space &amp; Time." The idea for the video was heavily fueled by alcohol and THC consumption, with the conclusion being, that beards are awesome, don't fuck with robots, and K'nuckles is the greatest adventurer that ever was and will be.</p> <p><strong>A cat shat on the set?</strong></p> <p>The table the set was built upon went through four different locations during construction. The first location was inside of a room the size of a small apartment, where it got the first stages of all the terrain put into place. Then it sat there for close to eight months before anything else happened. During that time, a cat named Toki took up residence as the sole owner of the set. It was a cluttered room and we called the set Tokiyo. There may have been some shitting.</p> <p><em>Into the Storm play October 24 at <a href="http://the2bitsaloon.com">2 Bit Saloon</a> with Judgement Day (CA), Gladiators Eat Fire, and They Rise, We Die </em></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/09/into-the-storm-vomits-battle-yarn#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14974240&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever Video http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/09/into-the-storm-vomits-battle-yarn?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14974240&id=comments 1 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 09:06:20 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/08/todays-music-news-trains-puke-and-zines http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/08/todays-music-news-trains-puke-and-zines Pamela Sternin <p><strong>Riding on the Metro</strong>: Encircled by bodyguards, rap artist <a href="http://gawker.com/5949822/jay+z-rode-the-subway-to-his-final-barclays-center-concert-like-a-commoner">Jay-Z</a> hops an R train to his final Barclay concert in Brooklyn proving that he's just like everyone else: A millionaire commuter with a record label and the hottest wife ever.</p> <p><strong>Dinner and a Show</strong>: Lady Gaga shows up Justin Bieber by <a href="http://gawker.com/5949753/heres-a-video-of-lady-gaga-throwing-up-onstage">puking on stage</a> all the while dancing like a pro.</p> <p><strong>Park Life</strong>: British alt rock band, <a href="http://pitchfork.com/news/48128-blur-confirmed-for-primavera-2013/">Blur</a> are gracing their fans by extending their reunion confirming a small series of European festivals in 2013.</p> <p><strong>Get Em' While They're Hot!</strong>: While checking out the latest fashion at Urban Outfitters don't forget to pick up your free 40-page zine released by <a href="http://pitchfork.com/news/48106-the-xx-partner-with-urban-outfitters-for-zine/">the xx</a>, complete with handwritten lyrics, photos, and such.</p> <p><strong>Ax to the Face</strong>: Tomahawk release a teaser song <a href="http://www.metalsucks.net/2012/10/05/stone-letter-you-dont-know-tomahawk-anymore/"><em>Stone Letter</em></a> off their upcoming album <em>Oddfellows</em>, their latest release in six years.</p> <p><strong>You're Doing It Wrong!</strong>: I guess dumpster babies are making a resurgence&#8212;this <a href="http://boingboing.net/2012/10/07/dont-throw-your-baby-in-a-du.html">sticker</a> seems to think so.</p> <p><strong>Use Your Indoor Voice</strong>: Screaming Females singer, <a href="http://www.avclub.com/articles/screaming-females-will-neither-tour-nor-scream-thi,86327/">Marissa Paternoster</a>, comes down with mono, subsequently dropping the band from their opening slot for the rest of their fall tour with Garbage. Get better soon, Marissa!</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/08/todays-music-news-trains-puke-and-zines#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14967992&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Dancing Bieber Fever News Song Video http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/08/todays-music-news-trains-puke-and-zines?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14967992&id=comments 0 Mon, 08 Oct 2012 12:39:25 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/08/lady-gaga-gags http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/08/lady-gaga-gags Kelly O <p>Never one to be outdone (<a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/01/who-has-the-best-barf-an-official-puke-poll">especially not by Justin Bieber!</a>)&#8212;Lady Gaga got gaggy and barfed three times onstage in Barcelona, Spain on Saturday. What a frickin' badass&#8212;she barely stops singing. </p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="500" height="255" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Rc635fevU-E" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/08/lady-gaga-gags#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14968081&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> International Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/08/lady-gaga-gags?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14968081&id=comments 0 Mon, 08 Oct 2012 11:38:42 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/05/time-for-another-white-hot-friday-night-line-out-giveaway http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/05/time-for-another-white-hot-friday-night-line-out-giveaway Anna Minard <p>Woohoo! We were not actually kidding last week when we sort of i<a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/28/hot-hot-friday-night-line-out-giveaway">mplied that this might be a regular thing</a>, where we go through our purses/desks/shorts pockets on Friday night and find you <strong>cool treasures</strong>, then ask you a dumb question so you can WIN THE PRIZE!!! Dedicated to you Line Outers who work late at a desk on Friday nights, or who read the blog on the weekend. Go you!</p> <p>Also, a bit of Housekeeping: Hey there, <strong>last week's winner, carnivorous chicken</strong>, wanna contact us to pick up your stuff? Just like Santa, we love giving you free stuff, if you sit on our laps and stay on your very best behavior! Those fries aren't gonna eat themselves!</p> <p>This week's prize package only contains two items, but one of them is HOT HOT HOT enough to put behind a jump, <strong>because BOOBZ</strong>. You're welcome! The prize package contains:</p> <p>ONE (1) pack of <strong>glue-on fake nails</strong>, French Manicure-style. Oooh, classy! Says music editor Emily Nokes, "Those nails have touched Gary Smith's torso." <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/gary-smith-of-partman-parthorse/Content?oid=14913846">It's true!</a></p> <p>and ONE (1) very special, Spanish-language, <strong>lesbian edition</strong> card game called, appropriately, "&#161;SEXO!"</p> <p>Redeem your prize by leaving the answer to this question, which honors our spirit animal Alanis Morissette, in comments (we'll alert the winner here in comments on Monday, when we sober up again):</p> <p><strong>What fellow '90s icons played guitar and bass on Alanis Morissette's best-karaoke-song-ever hit "You Oughta Know"?</strong></p> <p>PRIZE PACKAGE PIC...</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:337px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/b834/1349488802-img_7358.jpg" alt="WHITE HOT! Win it!" title="WHITE HOT! Win it!" width="325" height="436" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">GILLIAN ANDERSON</li><li class="imageCaption">WHITE HOT! Win it!</li></ul></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/05/time-for-another-white-hot-friday-night-line-out-giveaway#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14948817&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Dancing Hardcore Death City at Night Sort of News Mischief Bieber Fever Crap Party! Booze Dust Bin Guilty Pleasure ??!! TacocaT #1 Fan Eurovision Win It! Puppy http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/10/05/time-for-another-white-hot-friday-night-line-out-giveaway?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14948817&id=comments 5 Time for Another White Hot Friday Night Line Out Giveaway!!! WHITE HOT! Win it! GILLIAN ANDERSON Fri, 05 Oct 2012 18:24:55 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/27/todays-music-news-the-moz-metronomes-and-masturbation http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/27/todays-music-news-the-moz-metronomes-and-masturbation Pamela Sternin <p><strong>Bad Vibrations</strong>: Mike Love of the <a href="http://http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/26/beach-boys-reunion-to-end-this-week/">Beach Boys</a> kicks Brian Wilson and Al Jardine out of the band. That's like telling God, "Get off your cloud, there's a new boss in town."</p> <p><strong>The <em>Moz</em> Rules!</strong>: Morrissey rushes to the aid of a <a href="http://pitchfork.com/news/48004-morrissey-rushes-to-help-elderly-woman-after-collapse-in-new-york-city-bookstore/">collapsed woman</a> in a New York bookstore, a right proper gentleman.</p> <p><strong>The <em>Moz</em> Drools!</strong>: A strongly opinionated <a href="http://boingboing.net/2012/09/27/morrissey-at-age-17-ramones.html">17-year-old Morrissey</a> bashes the Ramones via the free press. Will he never come down from his soapbox?</p> <p><strong>Timing Is Everything</strong>: <a href="http://boingboing.net/2012/09/27/32-metronomes-attaining-sponta.html">32 metronomes</a> give OCD sufferers some sense of relief.</p> <p><strong>Hairy Palms, Unite!</strong>: Apparently we're all sinners, according to <a href="http://www.avclub.com/articles/here-is-50-cents-fourstep-guide-to-stop-masturbati,85499/">50 Cent</a>. Here's the lowdown on how to (not) keep your hands to yourself.</p> <p><strong>Brutal Shoes</strong>: The Metallica merchandise machine has sunk to a new low with these branded <a href="http://http://www.metalsucks.net/2012/09/26/new-metallica-kill-em-all-sneakers-allow-you-to-keep-it-a-complete-secret-that-you-like-metallicas-kill-em-all/"><em>Kill 'Em All</em></a> shoes by Vans. Please rush to your nearest Vans outlet and line the pockets of the evil empire.</p> <p><strong>Way to Make a Stink!</strong>: Trevor Dunn graces us with his two cents on Billie Joe Armstrong's recent <a href="http://www.punknews.org/article/49060/trevor-dunn-on-billie-joe-armstrong-he-doesnt-realize-that-he-is-justin-bieber">tantrum</a> at the iHeartRadio Music Festival.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/27/todays-music-news-the-moz-metronomes-and-masturbation#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14869713&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Sort of News Bieber Fever News Merch Guilty Pleasure http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/27/todays-music-news-the-moz-metronomes-and-masturbation?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14869713&id=comments 0 Thu, 27 Sep 2012 12:20:15 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/16/midnight-haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/16/midnight-haiku Sarah Galvin <p>I have always had a poor understanding of how one thing fits into another. As a child I thought Santa Claus was a property of chimneys, ate fortune cookies whole, and was phobic of sleeping bags. For some reason the hardest thing for me has been to differentiate between coffins and hot dog buns. I apologize in advance for my behavior at your barbecue and/or funeral.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/16/midnight-haiku#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14738277&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/09/16/midnight-haiku?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14738277&id=comments 0 Sun, 16 Sep 2012 21:40:44 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/24/la-weekly-takes-stabs-at-hipster-music-listmaking http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/24/la-weekly-takes-stabs-at-hipster-music-listmaking Sean Jewell <p>Here's a list of shit I'm tired of:</p> <p>1. Lists.</p> <p>2. The "hipster" label for everything people don't like, but aren't creative enough to describe any other way.</p> <p>That said,<a href="http://blogs.laweekly.com/westcoastsound/2012/08/worst_hipster_bands_all_time_c.php"> this is a pretty good run down of bands that I'm just fed up with hearing/reading about</a>. If you can get through the critiques without taking it personal, the writers have made some funny points, even about my beloved <strong>Bright Eyes</strong>. </p> <p><strong><em>LA Weekly</em></strong> goes on a list of the worst weekly magazines, btw. </p> <p>Short list:</p> <p>1. <strong>Bon Iver</strong> &#8212; <a href="http://boniverotica.tumblr.com/">So true</a>.<br />2.<strong> tUnE-yArDs</strong> &#8212; Their music is like a dog whistle to <a href="http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7490324/chuck-klosterman-tune-yards">Chuck Klosterman</a>.<br />3. <strong>Arcade Fire</strong> &#8212; Music writers: use the word "anthemic" one more time, wouldja?<br />4. <strong>Bright Eyes</strong> &#8212; Dude has been making music since he was like 10, maybe he should take a break?<br />5. <strong>Grizzly Bear</strong> &#8212; Grizzly bore, am I right?<br />6. <strong>Beirut</strong> &#8212; You listen to them, because I'm not gonna.<br />7. <strong>Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti</strong> &#8212; We had this already, it was called Robert Smith, he had black hair, was actually interesting, and had a talented band called <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNcjo28HU54">The Cure</a>.<br />8. <strong>The Airborne Toxic Event</strong> &#8212; If ever a band name said <strong>STAY AWAY</strong>, it's this one.<br />9. <strong>Beach House</strong> &#8212; Yawn. The cucumber sandwich of bands.<br />10. <strong>White Rabbits</strong> &#8212; Percussion is just one element you can use, guys.<br />11. <strong>Edward Sharpe And The Magnetic Zeroes</strong> &#8212; A very happy Manson Family special.<br />12. <strong>Pomplamoose</strong> &#8212; Like a flash mob of suck.<br />13. <strong>The Decemberists</strong> &#8212; The Hazards Of Loving someone so dramatic.<br />14. <strong>Wavves</strong> &#8212; No, pop punk is not cool after junior high.<br />15. <strong>Death Cab For Cutie</strong> &#8212; <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bremerton,_Washington">Bremerton!</a> Woot!<br />16. <strong>MGMT</strong> &#8212; GFYS.<br />17. <strong>fun. </strong>&#8212; wrong.<br />18. <strong>Sleigh Bells</strong> &#8212; I can't really stand to sit through a song of theirs, so I couldn't say.<br />19. <strong>TV On The Radio</strong> &#8212; Wait, what the? Fuck <em>LA Weekly</em>.<br />20. <strong>The Black Keys</strong> &#8212; #1 on my "Success: You're Doing It Wrong" list.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/24/la-weekly-takes-stabs-at-hipster-music-listmaking#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14554915&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Cats Bieber Fever ??!! Band of the Week #1 Fan Zzzzzzzzzzzzz http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/08/24/la-weekly-takes-stabs-at-hipster-music-listmaking?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14554915&id=comments 21 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 10:41:26 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/13/midnight-haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/13/midnight-haiku Sarah Galvin <p>I love internet pictures of people whose cunts are covered by MS Paint squiggles. At home one night, I tried to recreate such a squiggle with electrical tape, and realized it can&#8217;t be done, because the squiggles float an impossibly small distance from the people in the photos. This distance is the home of the pictures&#8217; perfection. Standing in front of my mirror, covered with electrical tape, I felt like the accidental architect of a church.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/13/midnight-haiku#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14163948&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/07/13/midnight-haiku?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=14163948&id=comments 0 Fri, 13 Jul 2012 19:53:39 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/24/no-fringe-benefits-for-emos http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/24/no-fringe-benefits-for-emos Anna Minard <p><a href="http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/lifestyle/no-fringe-benefits-for-emos-as-haircuts-that-flop-over-one-eye-could-result-in-generation-of-young-people-with-lazy-eyes/story-e6frf00i-1226354275346?sv=edc8224c100d355ce5a355a3e503cbbb">A dire warning from Australia</a> (a fringe = bangs, for those not in the know), beginning with that amazing headline: "No fringe benefits for emos as haircuts that flop over one eye could result in generation of young people with lazy eyes."</p> <blockquote><p>Under all those long lopsided fringes, a hidden danger is lurking.</p> <p>A leading optometrist has warned children and teenagers are <strong>risking their eyesight for the sake of fashion</strong>.</p> <p>Favoured by celebrities including Reece Mastin and Justin Bieber, the current zeal for haircuts with fringes that flop over one eye could result in a generation of young people with lazy eyes.</p> <p>"If a <strong>young emo chap</strong> has a fringe covering one eye all the time, that eye won't see a lot of detail," Mr Hogan said. "And if it happens from a young age, that eye can become amblyotic."</p></blockquote> <p>The piece goes on to warn that "a lack of direct sunlight" in the eye hidden under the bang-swoop could "result in short sightedness," and a "veteran hairdresser... fears the hairstyle force[s] many to tilt their heads to one side in order to see."</p> <p>An entire generation struck down with optometric issues in their prime! Comb your hair immediately!</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/24/no-fringe-benefits-for-emos#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13765556&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Hey You Fucking Kids! Fashion Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/24/no-fringe-benefits-for-emos?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13765556&id=comments 1 Thu, 24 May 2012 15:19:44 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/11/who-would-be-eaten-first http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/11/who-would-be-eaten-first Trent Moorman <p><strong>If an imaginary plane full of musicians crashed</strong> high in the Andes Mountains, forcing survivors to endure three months of the harshest high-altitude conditions imaginable, and do unspeakable things to survive...</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/11/who-would-be-eaten-first#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13626084&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Death Bieber Fever Politics http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/05/11/who-would-be-eaten-first?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13626084&id=comments 26 Fri, 11 May 2012 10:32:42 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/03/18/midnight-haiku http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/03/18/midnight-haiku Sarah Galvin <p>I restrained myself from saying &#8220;I loved the part of the novel where the cowboy got fucked by the horse,&#8221; not because it is a strange thing to fixate on&#8212;in fact it&#8217;s the only thing that happens in the novel&#8212;but because it is so reductive to simply say that one likes something. The other day I said I liked a sandwich I was eating and it shrank until it disappeared.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/03/18/midnight-haiku#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13046633&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2012/03/18/midnight-haiku?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=13046633&id=comments 2 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 01:19:31 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/11/16/im-not-sure-how-this-bieber-fever-bit-slipped-past-william-steven-humphrey http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/11/16/im-not-sure-how-this-bieber-fever-bit-slipped-past-william-steven-humphrey Mike Nipper <p>Who wants to see a <a href="http://www.eatliver.com/i.php?n=8004">Justin Bieber head/face made of cow and pig meat</a>!?! And perhaps an onion as teeth and some olives as eyes? However, what I'm thinking might be onion as teeth might indeed be fake fingernails. I'm now going to step away for a sec, as I now have some quality dry heaving to take care of.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/11/16/im-not-sure-how-this-bieber-fever-bit-slipped-past-william-steven-humphrey#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=10724499&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/11/16/im-not-sure-how-this-bieber-fever-bit-slipped-past-william-steven-humphrey?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=10724499&id=comments 2 Wed, 16 Nov 2011 13:16:25 -0800 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/07/11/dont-fuckin-fight-lets-party-tonight http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/07/11/dont-fuckin-fight-lets-party-tonight Megan Seling <p>If you're straight-edge don't worry, I'll buy you a Sprite!</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:287px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2011/07/11/1310405126-officeflyer.jpg" alt="officeflyer.jpg" title="" width="275" height="425" /></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/07/11/dont-fuckin-fight-lets-party-tonight#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=9006109&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever Party! Tonight Conflict of Interest http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/07/11/dont-fuckin-fight-lets-party-tonight?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=9006109&id=comments 5 Don't Fuckin' Fight, Let's Party Tonight! Mon, 11 Jul 2011 10:26:41 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/06/27/i-know-its-wrong http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/06/27/i-know-its-wrong Trent Moorman <p><div class="blogImageRight" style="width:262px;"><a href="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2011/06/27/1309202935-91edc58139094ca49cf2aad77ffc1595_7.jpg" class="zoomable"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2011/06/27/thumb-1309202935-91edc58139094ca49cf2aad77ffc1595_7.jpg" alt="91edc58139094ca49cf2aad77ffc1595_7.jpg" title="" width="250" height="250" /></a></div><br />But I got my Dad a breast cake for Father's Day from The Erotic Bakery. </p> <p>I just opened the refrigerator and ate the leftover left breast. It is completely made of sugar. I ate it and Def Leppard's "Pyromania" came on the radio. </p> <p>Now I'm going to try to kill this fly that I've been trying to kill for like an hour. The fly is Harry Motherfucking Houdini.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/06/27/i-know-its-wrong#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=8825023&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever Tip http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/06/27/i-know-its-wrong?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=8825023&id=comments 4 I Know It's Wrong Mon, 27 Jun 2011 12:35:00 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/04/25/my-bladder http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/04/25/my-bladder Trent Moorman <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:410px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2011/04/25/1303743534-lar3.jpg" alt="lar3.jpg" title="" width="398" height="281" /></div></p> <p>Seriously dog, the Gatorade bottle. Get that back here. And you can't play with my doll anymore.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/04/25/my-bladder#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=7850723&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Gear Bieber Fever Conflict of Interest http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/04/25/my-bladder?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=7850723&id=comments 1 My Bladder Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:59:39 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/03/30/can-we-call-him-teabieber http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/03/30/can-we-call-him-teabieber Paul Constant <p>Kory Shore is the <strong>Teabagger musical heart-throb</strong> who is "dying for America." Not literally? Anyway, here he is at work, singing about the Founding Fathers and a bunch of other things. I'm sure this video was made without any parental influence at all:</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="500" height="311" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/GdirIfmcuRg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>(Via <a href="http://wonkette.com/441791/teabag-spawn-forced-to-stand-on-cgi-mt-rushmore-sing-about-america">Wonkette</a>.)</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/03/30/can-we-call-him-teabieber#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=7453152&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever Politics http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/03/30/can-we-call-him-teabieber?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=7453152&id=comments 7 Wed, 30 Mar 2011 13:27:54 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/03/10/i-was-indifferent-to-justin-bieber-until-this-happened http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/03/10/i-was-indifferent-to-justin-bieber-until-this-happened Kelly O <p>I can't believe <a href="http://team.bigcartel.com/product/bieber-slayer">THIS</a> is happening! WHO DARE? I'm fucking pissed.</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:509px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2011/03/10/1299787068-justin-bieber-slayer-shirt.jpg" alt="justin-bieber-slayer-shirt.jpg" title="" width="497" height="326" /></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/03/10/i-was-indifferent-to-justin-bieber-until-this-happened#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=7117755&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Fashion Bieber Fever Crap http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/03/10/i-was-indifferent-to-justin-bieber-until-this-happened?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=7117755&id=comments 4 I Was Indifferent to Justin Bieber Until This Happened... Thu, 10 Mar 2011 11:59:21 -0800 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/02/22/psychic-on-aurora-predicts-biebers-future http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/02/22/psychic-on-aurora-predicts-biebers-future Trent Moorman <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:412px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2011/02/22/1298408019-usedbieber.jpg" alt="At sunrise, they will exit the mini van, and attempt to go about their day like nothing happened." title="At sunrise, they will exit the mini van, and attempt to go about their day like nothing happened." width="400" height="300" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"></li><li class="imageCaption">At sunrise, they will exit the mini van, and attempt to go about their day like nothing happened.</li></ul></div></p> <p><strong>Justin Bieber will smoke crack</strong> in a mini van with tinted windows behind a 7-11 in Oakland, CA. Then he will receive a hand job from a male prostitute who he thinks is a woman. Bieber will be fifty-two years old, it will be August, and Jupiter will be in retrograde. The hand job will cost him forty dollars. There will be one male onlooker in the van with a spear pierced septum, also high on the crack substance. Earlier in the night, Bieber will have consumed half a bottle of 100 proof Rumple Minze Schnapps, and because of this, he will be unable to reach orgasm. The prostitute will perform on Bieber until he chafes. Bieber will wince in pain, ask her/him to stop, they will smoke more crack, and then they will listen to 311 until the sun comes up.</p> <p>Sadly, this has been foreseen, by a psychic palm reader on Aurora Ave. named Naomi.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/02/22/psychic-on-aurora-predicts-biebers-future#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=6869696&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2011/02/22/psychic-on-aurora-predicts-biebers-future?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=6869696&id=comments 9 Psychic on Aurora Predicts Bieber's Future At sunrise, they will exit the mini van, and attempt to go about their day like nothing happened. Tue, 22 Feb 2011 13:00:11 -0800 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/12/09/what-has-two-thumbs-and-is-catching-the-next-flight-to-europe http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/12/09/what-has-two-thumbs-and-is-catching-the-next-flight-to-europe Wm.&#153; Steven Humphrey <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.portlandmercury.com/images/blogimages/2010/12/08/1291852383-1279140481-img_6650.jpg" alt="1279140481-img_6650.jpg" title="" width="500" height="333" /></div><br /><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.portlandmercury.com/images/blogimages/2010/12/08/1291852419-screen_shot_2010-12-08_at_3.49.32_pm.png" alt="Screen_shot_2010-12-08_at_3.49.32_PM.png" title="" width="500" height="172" /></div></p> <p>Why?<strong><blink> BECAUSE WILLOW SMITH IS OPENING FOR JUSTIN BIEBER IN EUROPE!!</blink></strong></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.portlandmercury.com/images/blogimages/2010/12/08/1291852503-willow-smith-touring-with-justin-bieber-4339-1291836973-15.jpg" alt="willow-smith-touring-with-justin-bieber-4339-1291836973-15.jpg" title="" width="500" height="251" /></div></p> <p>Oh, thank god I follow <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymKLymvwD2U">Willow Smith</a> on Twitter!! <strong>OMG! OMG! OMG! </strong>I feel like this!</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:412px;"><img src="http://www.portlandmercury.com/images/blogimages/2010/12/08/1291852615-scanners4.gif" alt="scanners4.gif" title="" width="400" height="295" /></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/12/09/what-has-two-thumbs-and-is-catching-the-next-flight-to-europe#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5806468&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/12/09/what-has-two-thumbs-and-is-catching-the-next-flight-to-europe?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5806468&id=comments 1 Thu, 09 Dec 2010 11:42:00 -0800 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/11/24/so-thats-what-a-justin-bieber-song-sounds-like http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/11/24/so-thats-what-a-justin-bieber-song-sounds-like Megan Seling <p>Telekinesis frontman Michael Lerner covers Justin Bieber's "Baby":</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><object width="500" height="300"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UtP3WEF54Wo?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UtP3WEF54Wo?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="300"></embed></object></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/11/24/so-thats-what-a-justin-bieber-song-sounds-like#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5636370&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/11/24/so-thats-what-a-justin-bieber-song-sounds-like?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5636370&id=comments 0 Wed, 24 Nov 2010 15:21:00 -0800 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/11/02/bikers-for-bieber http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/11/02/bikers-for-bieber Wm.&#153; Steven Humphrey <p>Tough bikers love Justin Bieber... <em>SO WHY DON'T YOU?</em></p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><object id="flashObj" width="486" height="412" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=9,0,47,0"><param name="movie" value="http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f9?isVid=1" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="flashVars" value="videoId=656258532001&playerID=6555681001&playerKey=AQ%2E%2E,AAAAAC3bNtw%2E,c0hgCOyLwy4VjqwaHGtYJLQQv4jcqpk_&domain=embed&dynamicStreaming=true" /><param name="base" value="http://admin.brightcove.com" /><param name="seamlesstabbing" value="false" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="swLiveConnect" value="true" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><embed src="http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f9?isVid=1" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" flashVars="videoId=656258532001&playerID=6555681001&playerKey=AQ%2E%2E,AAAAAC3bNtw%2E,c0hgCOyLwy4VjqwaHGtYJLQQv4jcqpk_&domain=embed&dynamicStreaming=true" base="http://admin.brightcove.com" name="flashObj" width="486" height="412" seamlesstabbing="false" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" swLiveConnect="true" allowScriptAccess="always" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash"></embed></object></div></p> <p>Oh, is it because <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/justin-bieber-fans-mock-lily-allen-over-miscarriag">JB's fans mocked Lily Allen's miscarriage</a>? Yeah... that would explain it.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/11/02/bikers-for-bieber#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5392203&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/11/02/bikers-for-bieber?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5392203&id=comments 0 Tue, 02 Nov 2010 14:47:00 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/29/happy-bieber-ween-everybody http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/29/happy-bieber-ween-everybody Wm.&#153; Steven Humphrey <p>This person carved a pumpkin to look like Justin Bieber, and... AAAUUUUGGGGHHH!!!</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.portlandmercury.com/images/blogimages/2010/10/29/1288368617-enhanced-buzz-28451-1288365564-8.jpg" alt="enhanced-buzz-28451-1288365564-8.jpg" title="" width="500" height="684" /></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/29/happy-bieber-ween-everybody#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5359625&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/29/happy-bieber-ween-everybody?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5359625&id=comments 1 Fri, 29 Oct 2010 12:07:11 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/26/justin-biebers-never-say-never-3d-trailer http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/26/justin-biebers-never-say-never-3d-trailer Wm.&#153; Steven Humphrey <p>OH, HO, HO, HOOOOO!!! The shit just got real, ya'll! </p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/COJCN3Mhr14?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/COJCN3Mhr14?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object></div></p> <p>Look. I know most of you won't even deign to watch this. That's why I'll tell you what you missed from the <strong><i>Never Say Never 3D</i> trailer.</strong></p> <p>1) Cute Justin baby pictures, awwwwww!!</p> <p>2) It's the inspiring story of how one kid realized a dream of becoming a mega pop star, even though he admits it was never really <em>his </em>dream, it just kind of fell into his lap. <strong>IN 3D!!!!</strong></p> <p>3) <strong>NEVER</strong> say <strong>NEVER</strong>, you guys! Even if your dreams never (dammit, I said it) come true (and frankly, they probably won't), saying "never" (damn it, said it again) will neither hurt or improve your chances of your wishes becoming a reality. So might as well not say it!</p> <p>4) Cute Justin baby pictures, awwwwww!!</p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/26/justin-biebers-never-say-never-3d-trailer#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5324633&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/26/justin-biebers-never-say-never-3d-trailer?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5324633&id=comments 0 Tue, 26 Oct 2010 13:41:00 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/26/dear-brazil-teen-magazines http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/26/dear-brazil-teen-magazines Wm.&#153; Steven Humphrey <p>... STOP IT. YOU'RE <em>NOT</em> HELPING!!</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:452px;"><img src="http://www.portlandmercury.com/images/blogimages/2010/10/26/1288108664-introducing-justine-bieber-17513-1288105103-3.jpg" alt="introducing-justine-bieber-17513-1288105103-3.jpg" title="" width="440" height="547" /></div></p> <p>(On the other hand, he does have a "purty mouth." WHAT??)</p> <p>via <a href="http://www.tabloidprodigy.com/?p=23343">Tabloid Prodigy.</a></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/26/dear-brazil-teen-magazines#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5324600&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/26/dear-brazil-teen-magazines?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5324600&id=comments 1 Tue, 26 Oct 2010 12:50:19 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/25/that-bieber-smell http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/25/that-bieber-smell Wm.&#153; Steven Humphrey <p>[RECORD SCRAAAAATCH!] Stop the mothereffin' internet, because this news can't wait!<strong> Justin Bieber is launching his very own FRAGRANCE, ya'll! </strong>Ho-hum, you say? Every stupid pop star has their own fragrance, you say? I really wish Hump would end his pedophilic ramblings about this no-talent teenage stinkhole, you say?<br />Well, "POOH-POOH <em>YOU</em>," I retort, because this fragrance isn't just your ordinary perfume in a weirdly-shaped crystal bottle! From <a href="http://www.wwd.com/beauty-industry-news/justin-bieber-to-launch-fragrance-3352829?module=today#">WWD</a>:<br /><blockquote><br />The 16-year-old tween and teen heartthrob has teamed up with the newly formed company Etoile Nation Beauty to introduce <strong>wristbands and dog tags infused with a unisex fragrance</strong> called My World. The scented accessories are slated to launch in Wal-Mart stores on Black Friday.</blockquote></p> <p>Man, the term "black Friday" just keeps earning its name doesn't it? But seriously, can you imagine? Perfume scented wristbands and dogtags? This is sincerely the greatest idea and technological advancement in personal grooming since Glide Tooth Floss! (Remember how shitty flossing used to be before Glide came along? Me, too.) <em>GODDAMMIT</em>, I wish I had come up with this idea! Trust me, this is gonna be the biggest thing since those idiotic <a href="http://www.sillybandz.com/">"Silly Bandz"</a>&#8212;because now kids don't have to leave the house smelling like a whore. They can leave the house, put on the wristband, and THEN smell like a whore. WAIT. Maybe they won't smell like a whore at all. Here's what Das Bieb says about choosing his fragrance.</p> <p><blockquote><br />&#8220;They actually brought me a bunch of stuff to smell today,&#8221; he said. &#8220;One of them smelled too young, too fruity. One was really good.&#8221;</p> <p>As for what type of scent he finds alluring on girls, Bieber said, &#8220;I actually like the Britney Spears perfume on girls. It smells good.&#8221;</blockquote></p> <p>Hmm&#8230; so I suppose we can assume that if Britney is the smell of "hot skank," <em>Eau du Biebs</em> will have the fragrance of "cotton candy dipped in Aunt Jemima syrup." Folks, you're gonna be able to smell me coming a mile away!</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:270px;"><img src="http://www.portlandmercury.com/images/blogimages/2010/10/25/1288026822-bieber02-1.jpg" alt="Ack! My heart!! Oh, my hearts on the other side." title="Ack! My heart!! Oh, my hearts on the other side." width="258" height="376" /><ul><li class="imageCredit">Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images</li><li class="imageCaption">"Ack! My heart!! Oh, my heart's on the other side."</li></ul></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/25/that-bieber-smell#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5315147&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/25/that-bieber-smell?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5315147&id=comments 1 Mon, 25 Oct 2010 12:46:56 -0700 The Stranger http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/11/good-morning-justin-bieber-news http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/11/good-morning-justin-bieber-news Wm.&#153; Steven Humphrey <p>To the Justin Bieber "haterz" of the world: <strong>This kid has declared war!! </strong>(Seriously. You have 14 days to submit to his demands. 14 days.)<br /><div style="text-align:center;"><br /><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/O4v9tfSCaHg?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/O4v9tfSCaHg?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object></div></p> <p>In what many have called a shocking and sexually confusing sequence of events, <strong>Justin Bieber's dad is hot.</strong> Kind of like in a "bro" way&#8212;but hot. Here is one picture, and there are nine others (many shirtless) <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-10-sexiest-pictures-of-justin-biebers-dad">here.</a><br /><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:212px;"><img src="http://www.portlandmercury.com/images/blogimages/2010/10/11/1286816348-enhanced-buzz-14435-1286808477-4.jpg" alt="Bitchin soul patch, bro!" title="Bitchin soul patch, bro!" width="200" height="348" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"><a href="http://www.portlandmercury.com/portland/ImageArchives?by=22102"></a></li><li class="imageCaption">Bitchin' soul patch, bro!</li></ul></div></p> <p><strong>Justin Bieber's memoirs</strong> (HAAAAA!!!) <a href="http://www.justinbiebermemoir.com/">comes out this Thursday.</a></p> <p><strong>Justin Bieber </strong>has partnered with a designer to <a href="http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39603721/ns/today-entertainment/">create a collection of nail polishes inspired by his hit songs. </a> Ummm... I think I may need to offer some words of advice to his publicist.</p> <p><strong>New York City </strong>names one of their beavers in a wildlife refuge,<a href="http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39463166/ns/today-entertainment"> "Justin Beaver." </a>Because, really, they couldn't think of anything more clever. They tried.</p> <p>And finally, what happens when you <a href="http://theinternettoday.net/funny/bieber-nightmare-fuel-round-2-justin-buscemi/">combine Justin Bieber and Steve Buscemi</a>? <strong>YOUR MOST HORRIBLE DAY-MARE.<br /></strong><br /><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.portlandmercury.com/images/blogimages/2010/10/11/1286817149-auaiz.png" alt="auAiZ.png" title="" width="500" height="345" /></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/11/good-morning-justin-bieber-news#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5116696&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Bieber Fever http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/archives/2010/10/11/good-morning-justin-bieber-news?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=5116696&id=comments 0 Mon, 11 Oct 2010 11:06:09 -0700 The Stranger