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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I Hate This Band

posted by on January 17 at 11:35 AM


I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. Every time one of their songs comes on the radio (which seems to happen at least once every single time I decide to listen to the radio), I can’t change the station fast enough, and I can’t do it without making a weird, loud yipping/jungle call noise to drown out the funkified air pollution until I’m back in a RHCP-free zone. If I’m some place where the musical selection is out of my control and one of their songs comes over the loudspeaker, I can’t help but wish that an imaginary aneurysm in my brain would decide to burst that second, in order to keep me from having to hear the rest of “Aeroplane,” “Higher Ground,” or god forbid “Californication.” Man, I can’t stand “Californication.”

I know it’s sorta weird. I mean, there are some shitty, shitty bands in the world—Puddle of Mudd, Limp Bizkit, Papa Roach, Breaking Benjamin—but none of those obviously horrible acts conjure up the same rage within my soul as the frat boy favorites, Red Hot Chili Peppers. Those acts are ignorable. They’re terrible, but they’re temporary. The RHCP, though, are not. They’ve been around since I was three years old, and they’re not going away.

I hate them.

I hate them, I hate them, I hate them.

RSS icon Comments


I feel the same way about Boston. Something about the way that guy in Boston screams makes me angry.

Posted by trent moorman | January 17, 2007 12:52 PM

they were good before you were born Megan.

Posted by maria | January 17, 2007 1:10 PM

I hate this band with the same amount of passion. They were never good. And Anthony Kiedis' self-righteous bs is the worst. Every song is really just about how he's awesome. Watching his stagnation and Patton's growth since the Kiedis-orchestrated fued between them has been so satisfying to watch.

Posted by KEN | January 17, 2007 1:15 PM

I was born in ’80. They were born in ’83. So you're saying they were good when they didn't exist. I'll agree with that, Maria.

Posted by Megan Seling | January 17, 2007 1:20 PM

Megan, I can't agree with you enough. The RHCP were NEVER good. I'm old enough to remember when they first came out, and it was shit then...just a different flavor of shit. Flea is single handedly responsible for encouraging legions of idiots to slap and pop their bass strings in a pseudo funk white boy style. Anthony's horrid gibberish "rapping" on every song is just incredibly annoying. Beyond annoying. One of the worst "singers" ever. I do have some respect for some of their guitarists over the years though, except for Dave Navarro....what a complete fucking tool.

Posted by Green Monky | January 17, 2007 1:34 PM

Jesus Megan, you are knocking the posts out of the park this week. Agree about Pinkerton, agree about Promise Ring, and super-duper agree to the nth degree about the fucking Red Hot Chili Peppers. Fuck RHCP, fuck them right in the ear. Even writing the letters "RHCP" makes me angry.

Horrible vocals, horrible lyrics, horrible bass wanking, horrible faux-surfer-hippie vibe, horrible macho-sexy scumbag persona, just plain horrible.

Posted by The_Pope_Of_Chili_Town | January 17, 2007 1:58 PM

You just hate them because right before we make out I scream, "SUCK MY KISS, MEGAN!"

Posted by Ari Spool | January 17, 2007 2:27 PM

sorry Megan, I thought you were born later...and I'm just giving you shit - they were never good.

Posted by maria | January 17, 2007 3:05 PM

Megan is indeed channeling some invisible psychic mainline of undeniable truth this week. The Red Hot Chili Peppers are THE WORST BAND OF ALL TIME, knocking out second-placers U2, who are, for their unforgiveable inflatedness and pretentious political self-aggrandizement extremely reprehensible, but not also unlistenable, the category that hands the shit crown to RHCP. I am in Southern California and have heard on the television that not only are these fools playing at Disneyland this week, but the ride Space Mountain is now set to their sickening racket. It is at least good that they have publicly signed up for the Disney fascism and can be identified even more clearly to those who for some reason might be confused, though their distastefulness is not ideological, it stems from some evil frequency emitted by the very notes of the music itself.

They WERE kind of good before Megan was born, but in a way which when added to their post-1990 output makes them even worse. The String Cheese Incident is bird flu; RHCP are ebola.

Posted by Grant Cogswell | January 17, 2007 3:15 PM

You're right about RHCP, but I feel the same way about Weezer. All of their songs, all of their albums. They sound like music your little brother would listen to to piss you off when you're in high school and he's in junior high and hasn't started smoking pot yet. Annoying lyrics, irritating voice, more attitude than talent--just garbage through and through. Astounds me that serious music fans still praise them.

So, hey. Everybody's got their opinions. I must be too old for that band.

And for what it's worth, Flea's a much better bass player than the imitators he spawned. But Anthony Kieidis or however you spell it should be SHOT.

Posted by MattyDread | January 17, 2007 4:07 PM

And Journey too. When did they become semi-cool in an embarrassing sort of but you know you're into them too way? No. Not cool. Not even ironically cool. Horrible. Suck. The worst. Worse than Boston. Worse than Foreigner. Worse than Bob Fucking Seger. Worse than Bad Fucking Company. The worst worst worst. So all of you stop pretending you're cool because you're not-so-secretly into Journey.

Posted by MattyDread | January 17, 2007 4:10 PM

Years ago I'd argue my thoughts on why RHCP are the worst band ever, and they were pretty similiar to yours. Either so much time has passed since anything remotely related to them would ever enter my life, OR more, worse stuff has happened since.

Maybe I just forgot how much I hate that band. Thanks for the refresher. And arguments about old stuff/new stuff don't hope up... bass slapping to songs about Kermit the Frog? Dudes, no.

Posted by Dougsf | January 17, 2007 4:26 PM

MattyDread, you are sadly mistaken about Bob Seger and Bad Company. They've got some overplayed/embarrassing hits for sure (anyone with staying power does), but they, or their members, are responsible for as much joy as rock and roll could ever bring a human.

If your namesake is at all a hairstyle reference, than please ignore me as we probably aren't speaking the same language.

Posted by Dougsf | January 17, 2007 4:32 PM

Um...Bob Seger, before the beard, was like GOLD. Dig the Bob Seger System's East Side Story...holy shit! and Heavy Music!!! oh yeah!!! Death Row!? uh-huh! AND the best well known BSS track - 2+2= is a brilliant working class anti war song!!! the SILVER BULLET BAND...thats the suck! but still NOT as bad as RHCP...

Posted by nipper | January 17, 2007 4:53 PM

That's how I feel about Led Zeppelin.

Posted by pox | January 17, 2007 5:17 PM

Bob Seger, Bruce Springsteen, all great before the beard. No wait - Bruce Springsteen great UNTIL he shaved the beard...see why you can't get old? you can't remember shit..

Posted by maria | January 17, 2007 5:33 PM

There is a law of nature which dictates if KISW plays a RHCP song, KNDD must play a different RHCP song within one segments' time. It's called "PLEASE JESUS STOP PLAYING THE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS OH FUCK NO GOD NOT AGAIN"

Posted by laterite | January 17, 2007 5:39 PM

This is exactly how I feel about Coldplay. I even make that same noise you described, but with more yelling "NO!!!" Man, I fucking hate Coldplay.

Posted by Beazle | January 17, 2007 5:57 PM

Nipper@14 is on the money. The first Bob Seger System LP, Ramblin Gamblin Man,/i>, is awesome garage rock and psychedelia. Shame it's long oop.

Posted by segal | January 17, 2007 6:29 PM

Argh, forgive the coding eff-up.

Posted by segal | January 17, 2007 6:30 PM

Yeah, fuck Weezer.

And Journey rocked back when Greg Rolie was still singing. "Feelin' That Way" is still one of my favorite songs to serenade myself with on the piano.

Posted by Paulus | January 17, 2007 6:37 PM

once again, the funk gets overlooked.

there was a time, dear people, when the chili peppers were funky. funky enough to lure in the atomic dog himself as producer for freaky styley, their most underplayed, underrated album. it all culminated w blood sugar sex magik, a terrificly greasy platter of modern funk and blue-eyed soul rendered a supremely confident hand.

things all went to shit once they began recording lukewarm ballads for hollywood soundtracks. on their way to arena shows and mtv cribs, RHCP watered down and forgot the funk. see also: dave navarro. see also: adult active rock.

its a lesson we can all learn from: dont forget the funk.

Posted by jzwickel | January 17, 2007 11:46 PM

My band arrived early for a show at a bar in Port Angeles recently, and the motherfuckers working there were playing the SUBLIME FUCKING BOXED SET for hours on end. And I had nowhere else to go. A couple months previous, we played to a completely empty house at a club in Eugene because FUCKING THE REMAINING FUCKING MEMBERS OF SUBLIME WERE PLAYING THE OLD HITS ELSEWHERE IN TOWN AND THEY APPARENTLY DREW EVERY RESIDENT THAT ATTENDS SHOWS. Anyway, at that bar in PA I came to a realization: Sublime is worse than Limp Bizkit, Korn, et al because I will hear Sublime until I die. They are inescapable. Red Hot Chili Peppers fall under this same category.

Posted by Bob | January 18, 2007 1:59 AM

"suck my kiss"i forgot about that one, ugh. they also have the all time worst name for an album (drumroll) "Stadium Arcadium" jesus!

agreed with Nipper about the Bob Seger System, those BSS records are the real thing maaaan!

Posted by kwab | January 18, 2007 8:14 AM

It is always a good idea NOT to forget the funk... except when RHCP are futilely flailing away at it.

Posted by perpetually peaking | January 18, 2007 9:05 AM

...I just hate that almost everywhere in any song they've written since 2000, they mention "California".

Do they get a shiny nickel each time they use that word, or something?

Posted by smooge | January 19, 2007 12:23 PM

I hate them more.

Posted by yes! | January 19, 2007 1:13 PM

THANK YOU, Megan, for calling out the RHCP - they have sucked it up for the past two albums and lost their way. I used to love 'em - now I had to dismiss them on account of their ineptitude toward releasing anything relevant or mildly interesting in the past three-four years. They're trying to continue to ride on the coattails of Blood Sugar Sex Magic, an album they released over **15** years ago!!!!


Seriously - let it go, lads.

Posted by redsucksuckisuckerz | January 20, 2007 12:48 AM

I do agree, the Peppers have grown old and stale as of late...isn't that what happens to most bands that play for 20 plus years? However, you can't deny the rawness of Freaky Stylie or Uplift Mofo Party Plan. No other band sounded like their earlier records. Yes, they make utterly boring and uninteresting music nowadays..but not really much more boring or unoriginal than some of the bands around this town that get all the attention and hype. The Peppers are an easy target- it's safe to call them out. If you really want to be ballsy people, what about spilling the beans on some of the shitty hot to trot bands around here?

Posted by beardedbeltedhipsterboy | January 20, 2007 9:30 AM

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