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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Super Wednesday - Eat Me

posted by on March 5 at 10:47 AM


If a plane crashed high in the Andes Mountains and those on board had to endure two months of the harshest high altitude conditions imaginable:

Who would be the most likely to survive?

Who would be the first to be eaten?

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No. No. It would be John Denver. Er... maybe not. He died in a plane crash.

Posted by Big Brother | March 5, 2008 11:30 AM

i wouldn't be against turning on and killing dave matthews, but having to eat him? no thanks.

Posted by cosby | March 5, 2008 11:54 AM

I break it down like this, two months figure about a week to 2 weeks before anyone even thinks about eating someone. Then they split off like "Survivor". The teams will make alliances and then try to decide who to eat.

Lemmy and Keith are automatically disqualified due to years of damage to their bodies (not good to eat, too tough and stringy). Same goes for Slats, Eddie Vedder, Dave Matthews, Lars Ulrich and Issac Brock. Best choices Glenn Danzig, Ben Gibbard, 50 Cent.

Glen and 50 are very tough and with Lemmy, Keith, Slats, Eddie Vedder, Issac Brock all going through drug withdrawals they are too weak to overpower them. Ben Gibbard will be the first to go.

A little gamey due to his Bellingham diet, but palatable, he should hold them out for a couple of weeks and with the renewed strength the next to go is Glen. That should hold them out until rescue.

Posted by drheavy | March 5, 2008 12:01 PM

Ben Gibbard, is like a succulent spring chicken.

I think they eat him like 3 hours into it.

Posted by Hungry | March 5, 2008 12:19 PM

And as much as I hate to say it, 50 Cent and Lars Ulrich may have pretty good chances of surviving. 50 Cent is strong and has much muscle mass and Lars is fit due to all the double kicking cardio over the years.

Posted by Hungry | March 5, 2008 12:22 PM

I figure if Lars isn't the first to be eaten he is definitely the first to be murdered.

Posted by Jeff Kirby | March 5, 2008 12:39 PM

Lars is pretty sneaky, but I think he and Eddie would be pitted against each other in an Ice Cave falls count anywhere hardcore match for the immunity stick (made out of the bones of Ben Gibbard, the recovering junkies will need some arts and crafts too keep them occupied). 50 and Glen will sit in thrones made of First Class seats and watch for who will compete in the grudge match for the last of the airline meals (Blue Corn chips and mini cookies). The under card will be Sean Spits vs. Jackie Hell for the Seattle honorary belt.

Posted by drheavy | March 5, 2008 1:07 PM

Keith Richards would taste nasty. But hell, if I gotta, I gotta.

My money's on Gibbard gettin it first. He IS tender. They would start following him around with ketchup packets pretty early on.

I don't know though, he might bitch up to Fiddy and Lemmy and let them suckle from his man teets.

Posted by Anna | March 5, 2008 2:03 PM

No thats an image, Lemmy and 50 kneeling before Ben Gibbard to suckle at his man teets.

Posted by drheavy | March 5, 2008 2:13 PM

duuuuuude! you would probably wanna eat lars, because he is the lamest. you need to be thinking ahead. wouldnt you want the rest around for entertainment purposes.

eat the lamest first! am i worng?

Posted by rachealh! | March 5, 2008 2:38 PM

Gibbard is at 38%.

that's pretty official.

Posted by erik | March 5, 2008 3:08 PM

Yeah, but wait until the rural vote comes in.

I think they'll go for more meaty meat, like Danzig.

Posted by Anna | March 5, 2008 3:11 PM

I know this is hypothetical, but if I'm going to be on an airplane flying over the mountains with a bunch of musicians, I would insist Meat Loaf join in just in case this scenario comes to happen.

Posted by Matt Fuckin' Hickey | March 5, 2008 3:45 PM

I'd have to go with a tie for Keith and Lemme surviving..nothing can kill them..they are a whole other breed of animal by now, Ben definitely would be the first to go..soft and plump and being a NW native likely would not put up a fight just sulk ;)

Posted by lulu | March 5, 2008 3:48 PM

Ben Gizzard?

And let's remember Keith's transfusions. He's got blood of a 22 year old distance runner in him. He may be tastier than you think.

Posted by trent moorman | March 5, 2008 5:02 PM

If all these guys are on a plane together, I imagine at least one of them would be considering killing and eating Ben Gibbard before the plane even crashes.

Posted by Andy | March 5, 2008 5:42 PM

I think Eddie Vedder's vegan, and I think healthy people probably make better eating. Plus, he might refuse to eat anyone else, so it would naturally be a waste of meat to eat anyone else.

Posted by Monty Ashley | March 5, 2008 7:15 PM

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