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Monday, April 14, 2008

Barfly: For the Win

posted by on April 14 at 14:55 PM

BARFLYtrophy2.jpgBarfly of the Saturday Knights is Champion of the Line Out Greco Roman Tournament. Barfly bested Broadway’s own Slats Slatinskie in the finals. (See here.) Slats rolled out to an early lead but Barfly had a late unmatched surge that Slats Nation couldn’t handle.

Barfly, congratulations. I would like to present you with your steak knife and your KFC Biscuit. You are now President of the Stranger for a day.

Any words?
Barfly: I just want to congratulate my opponents for making me work for the win. I want to thank Puma, Xymogenetics for the exoskeleton, my team of therapists for the long hours huddled around the coffee pot, prepping my ego for a soul crushing defeat that never materialized and my spiritual mentor, Jan Michael Vincent who taught me that only losers quit and only quitters lose. You’ve never steered me wrong, Champ. I want to dedicate this victory to everyone who cleared their browsers’ cache and cookies repeatedly so they could vote again and again and again. Finally I want Slats to know that I voted for him in every round. Usually twice.

Special thanks to Gatsby, Fridge, and The Proof. That’s not me in Drillbit Taylor.

In the words of Kanye West, “Gimme my shit!”

This victory has reinvigorated my lust for life. Now I’m goin’ to rehab.

Jeff Newton
aka Barfly

RSS icon Comments



Put Barfly and Slats in a room toghether in a line-up of random strangers.

Nine out of 10 people could correctly pick Slats out of the line up. I'd be suprised if one or two know who Barfly is.

This thing was rigged!

SLATS! For President of the Stranger for a day! Lord knows he could use that biscuit!

Posted by Jeff | April 14, 2008 3:08 PM

I swear, SWEAR, the contest was not rigged. It was the same for all the contestants.

I would also like to see Slats as Stranger President for a Day. There would be Long Island Ice Tea's for everyone.

AND Jackie Hell's "Work-it" video is something I watch daily now.

Posted by trent moorman | April 14, 2008 3:23 PM

Barfly, you will be victorious.

And while Jan Michael Vincent has been known to be a bit of a "snake bit, gut shot, broken leg, dragon dine, suckin' puppies uphill" sort of fellow, you will always = HERO. No matter what. Yep.

Posted by KELLY O | April 14, 2008 4:17 PM

Dearest Barfly,

Dude, if I was having a threesome with Hopey and Maggie, I would so make room for you.

Detox Love,


Posted by Chris Estey | April 14, 2008 4:56 PM

Enjoy your biscuit, Barfly.

What will you do as President of the Stranger?

Posted by Krystal | April 14, 2008 5:57 PM

As President Of The Stranger For A Day I just want to let Slats help himself to all the free office supplies he wants. Everyone else can just take the day off.

Posted by Barfly | April 14, 2008 6:31 PM

esteezo: you live my maggie mija outta this!

now buck a shot for our dry brother! see you in a couple, my liege.

Posted by lar | April 14, 2008 10:42 PM

I have gone six years without knowing Barfly's full given name, only to have it blown here. God dammit.

He deserves the win. Barfly is a king amongst men. If you look at Slats too long, he will steal your soul. Not cool.

In the words of Alex Cox, never trust a junkie.

Posted by kerri harrop | April 15, 2008 8:52 AM

Clap... clap... clap...

Clap, clap...

Clap, clap-clap, clap...

Clap, clappity clap, clap-clap, clappppp!!!

Posted by Billy the Fridge | April 15, 2008 2:24 PM

Not to mention, the more you drive, the less intelligent you are.

Posted by Chris Estey | April 15, 2008 3:21 PM

barfly, mingle is the best album ever and you better be getting into fighting shape to tour

i believe in you, your magic is real

Posted by ndrwmtsn | April 15, 2008 4:34 PM


Posted by Billy the Fridge | April 17, 2008 6:16 PM

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