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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Eurovision Semi-Final: The Bosnian Bjork, Armenian Qele and Dutch Hind.

posted by on April 29 at 8:31 AM

Bosnia & Herzegovina scare me this year. They usually send us a typical Balkan ballad, something folky or a typical Eurovision queen (seriously, click on that link, you won’t regret it). This year however, they’re sending Pokusaj with Laka. The lyrics, in case they’re singing the English version, go something like “I don’t want to be a wacky boy, we are living in this wacky world”. Interesting. The video shows a French maid with a crazy guy, who’s arrying a live chicken (no live animals at Eurovision, thank you very much). In the background, farmhands are acting out some weird choreography and there’s plenty of meaningful gazing into the camera. At one point, the French maid transforms into the Bosnian version of Björk –without the shrieking- and starts flopping about on stage like she’s chased by a serial killer. She’s not, but at this point I wish she was. The music is at some places quite decent, but then it’s ruined again. Well, for me anyway. Also, in the video, pay attention to how unimpressed the studio audience looks. It’s probably the most entertaining thing about this whole song.

Armenia is relatively new to Eurovision and they tend to do well (Don’t mention block voting! Don’t mention block voting! I mean, come on, they send a man singing a ballad in front of a cardboard tree covered in paper and still take 8th place?! I don’t see a lot of countries following that example). Sirusho should ease into the final with Qele Qele, and not just due to block voting. The song starts off with some serious er… shouting, which will be impressive as long as she manages to keep it in tune. The lyrics are hardly Shakespearian quality (“instead of watching me, you should be reaching me. Come Qele, move Qele”), the accent is cute, but honey… seriously…Not wanting to look like a slut is fantastic. I commend you for it, I really do. But you don’t have to look like you’ve just worn something to rush to the supermarket. “I’m off to Eurovision, what should I wear? Oh I know, my jeans and this ratty old sweater. That’ll be good enough. And I’ll get the girls from next-door to wear their gym clothes and they can dance backing. Brilliant!”. No no no, give me some glamour! Thankfully Sirusho makes up for her wardrobe choices by including the Eurovision Clichés of playback-drumming on stage (+10 points) and fake Riverdance (+20 points).

Hind (and my god, does she have a funny name for English speakers) represents the Netherlands with the originally titled “Your heart belongs to me”. It does? Well… it might. This is another example of a poppy, happy song with a lot of Eastern influences. One could say the ethnic sounds are an attempt to gain some Eastern European sympathy, but I don’t care (You’ve probably already noticed that in Eurovision, Eastern Europe is seen as at least as powerful as the Mafia. They’re like the father you have to work hard to please, the teacher you don’t want to disappoint.). To me this is a decent pop song, sung by a sexy lady (hel-lo there, Hind) wearing nothing more than a short coat. Forget trousers, Hind, the outfit’s great this way!

Next up: Finland, Romania and Russia.

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Sirusho and her team are wearing outfits that are the height of fashion in this small country. Plus, I doubt they can afford anything more flashy. Most people over there subsist on cardboard and flour and barely afford heating. Asshole.

Posted by king ad hok | April 29, 2008 8:56 AM

I am LOVING these Eurovision posts! Griet is HILARIOUS! Please keep them coming!

Posted by XTC | April 29, 2008 9:29 AM

okay, netherlands gets minus points for having the band onstage! what's with that?!?!?! no freakin' dancers??????

and forget sirusho's outfits. that song, so far, i hate to say, is my fave song of the bunch, it's very "BEYONCE" with the hippity hoppity dancing and everything. so far that's my choice.

bosnia-hercegovina blech.

Posted by terry miller | April 29, 2008 3:54 PM

@2: Thanks!

@3: I have to agree with you on Armenia. From a purely er... "musical" perspective, Armenia is definitely one of my favourites as well. She should have no problem getting a top ten/top five position in the final. But wait till you hear the gay anthem Iceland sends...

Posted by Griet | April 29, 2008 10:34 PM

#1 is an idiot. If they can send her to compete and make a video clip for her they can dress her up. They obviously chose not to for some reason.

Posted by ok | May 3, 2008 11:55 PM

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