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Friday, May 23, 2008

The Other Talent Family

posted by on May 23 at 11:55 AM

It’s a day old, but Stranger columnist Michaelangelo Matos’ most recent installment of “Project X” on Idolator is worth a belated look. In the post, Matos gathers his family, following a Mother’s Day feast at Red Lobster, to evaluate the Billboard Hot 100 Top 10—it’s like the Wire’s jukebox jury, only you might know what the hell they’re talking about, or Arthur’s “Bull Tongue” column, only with no Thurston Moore. In any case, the Matos family’s banter makes me think that, if they were so inclined, they could just start their own music criticism concern (The Matos Weekly? Matosfork?) and they’d probably do pretty well (maybe Miguel could handle ad sales, I don’t know). A sample:

3. Lil Wayne ft. Static Major, “Lollipop” (Cash Money)
Alex: Oh god.
Lorie: [The Supremes’] “Reflections”—that’s what [the beginning] reminds me of.
Alex: “Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur”: I know this song. I don’t like this, though. Oh! It’s the wrong song. I’m thinking of “Low” [by Flo Rida ft. T-Pain].
Brittany: Is this Lil Wayne?! “Cash Money Records reppin’ for the nine-nine and the 2000!” I like Mannie Fresh better. He was a lot funnier to listen to. What’s that song, “Get Your Roll On”? Lil Wayne was like 12 years old when Cash Money Records came out—that’s what I always think about when I hear him. He was like 12 years old with a kid, and his lonely teardrop.
Lorie: A kid? Wow! I’ve been outdone!
Brittany: Yeah—nobody thought it was biologically possible, but it’s been done, Mom.
Lorie: You know what this reminds me of? Rap.
Alex, Brittany, Michael: It is rap.
Brittany: It’s more like a distant relative of rap. What kind of rap did you listen to, Mom, the Sugarhill Gang?
Lorie: No, I listened to that Superman song.
Michael: You mean “Rapper’s Delight”?
Lorie: Yes!
Brittany: That’s the Sugarhill Gang.
Lorie: Oh.
Michael: Wait—do you mean the song about Superman and Lois Lane, or the one about Supermanning that ho?
Lorie: [confused look]
Michael: OK, never mind.

RSS icon Comments


OMG. If they don't become regular music critics this is all just a cruel tease. Hell, they need a VH1 Round Table.

Posted by Chambers McSween | May 23, 2008 12:17 PM


Posted by Nick | May 23, 2008 12:32 PM

This is brilliant. Not only super funny but actually great criticism. Post more!

Posted by JenS | May 23, 2008 1:23 PM

There was a previous installation where the Matos family reviewed Battles' song "Atlas" and the family were all "OMG MARILYN MANSON!"

Yes, these are all great.

Posted by mackro mackro | May 23, 2008 1:28 PM

Ugh. I can haz first sentence of post?

Let the boys have they BALLIN'!

Posted by Eric Grandy | May 23, 2008 1:40 PM

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