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Saturday, June 7, 2008

Aggressive Drummer Needed to Extremely Die

posted by on June 7 at 13:40 PM

From The Stranger Classifieds - Musicians Wanted:


No dying of natural causes. If your drumming slowly and gently passes into the afterlife, you need not apply. The death here needs to be extreme. Your drumming needs to dive head first into a woodchipper. Or be eaten by piranha. Or have a parachute that doesnít open.

In death metal there is distortion, there are morbid and harsh lyrics sung by low growled Orc men, blurringly fast drums, and a pure sense of darkness. With extreme death metal it needs to be harsher, faster, more distorted, more morbid, more Orc.

In extreme death metal, not only does your parachute malfunction, but you land in a woodchipper that spits the shards of your body into a piranha tank. Then a serial murderer lets the water out of the tank, freezes the piranha, and throws them back into the woodchipper.

RSS icon Comments


"Must land hard on the one."

Posted by flamingbanjo | June 7, 2008 2:03 PM

Can you aggresively play extreme death metal and not be serious?

Posted by Jason | June 7, 2008 3:13 PM

Sounds like they need you Trent.

Posted by Biggie J | June 7, 2008 4:09 PM

sounds more fun than indy rock

Posted by mwand | June 8, 2008 9:40 AM

Vocalist & Guitarist looking for MORE BRAINS!!!!!!!

Posted by Satan's Penis | June 9, 2008 12:56 PM

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