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Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Revenge: Spittin and Killin and 4-Wheel Drives

posted by on July 8 at 21:37 PM


Hank Williams Jr. had a friend who was killed in New York. Hank Williams Jr. wants revenge. He wants to spit tobacco into the eyes of the man who murdered his friend, and kill him.

Hank wrote a song about it called “A Country Boy Can Survive”. I tried to talk Hank out of killing the guy, but he won’t listen.

Hank sings:

I live back in the woods, you see / A woman and the kids, and the dogs and me / I got a shotgun rifle and a 4-wheel drive / And a country boy can survive

Nice that you give your woman a name, Hank. I’m sure she appreciates that. And I’m sure she appreciates it when you beat her.

Hank continues:

I can plow a field all day long / I can catch catfish from dusk till dawn / We make our own whiskey and our own smoke too / Ain’t too many things these ole boys can’t do

How about putting down the gun, can you do that?

I’d love to spit some Beechnut in that dude’s eyes / And shoot him with my old 45 Cause a country boy can survive

That’s just not nice at all, Hank. You can’t just go around killing people and spitting tobacco in their eyes.

But my friend was killed by that dude with a switchblade knife / For 43 dollars my friend lost his life

Yeah, but if you kill him, then his friends are going to kill you. Who’s going to raise your kids?

Country folks can survive

I know they’ll survive, Hank, but what if you tried to go about it the right way and called the police?

Country folks can survive

What if the guy is wearing Kevlar when you shoot him, and it doesn’t kill him?

Country folks can survive

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I lived for a short while in the woods of West Virginia. I was informed in short order about the way people do things in those parts. The part that stuck with me was "I seen (name of my next neighbor down the way) slit a man's throat. These are not people it will do to mess with. Somebody could come out here any time, kill you, feed you to their dogs, hide the bones out in the woods and Johnny Law would be none the wiser."

They weren't kidding and they weren't lying. Country folks take care of business for themselves. The law barely exists in some of those counties, which have no tax base to speak of and don't want lawmen around anyway (moonshine and marijuana were important economic activities in that neck of the woods). The law don't come looking if nobody calls, and dead people don't call.

Posted by flamingbanjo | July 8, 2008 10:34 PM

very funny, moorman.

very funny, flamingbanjo.

beechnut is disgusting. go skoal. much better.

Posted by james | July 9, 2008 11:14 AM

Trent, I usually enjoy most of your articles. I found this one to be fairly mean.

Posted by godsactionfigure | July 9, 2008 1:02 PM

Sorry godsactionfigure,

I didn't mean it to be mean. I just spent some time in the South and was put off by the way they still treat women and are still way racist.

I was reacting to some of that and heard this song and wanted to do something with it.

I probably could have done a better job. Sorry if it offended you.

Posted by trent moorman | July 10, 2008 1:05 AM

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