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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Total Fest VII: DIY Elk Jerky

posted by on August 6 at 13:00 PM


It’s Total Fest time. What is Total Fest you say? Total Fest is a three day music festival in Missoula, Montana. A mere seven hours away, Total Fest attendees camp and consume. Some people hike. Forty bands provide rock action. Beer is made and celebrated. A river is floated down. There’s a music swap at an ice-cream parlor. BBQ? Yes. Nudity? Maybe. Sun? Music and fun? Guaranteed like Grade A Top Choice tofu dogs or sirloin. Friday and Saturday are ALL AGES.

When: August 14-16. Record Swap is Aug. 16.
Where: the Badlander / Palace in Missoula, and Big Dipper Ice Cream.
How much: $35 three-day passes for 18+, $25 two-day (Fri.-Saturday) passes for all-ages.

In Russia, there is family of tightrope walkers by the name of Wallendah. The Wallendahs are a quiet bunch. The skill of tightrope walking is nimbly handed down through generations with care. They tightrope walk across town squares and from building to building twenty stories high. Some Wallendahs have fallen to their death.

Total Fest is nothing like that. Total Fest crushes the Wallendahs. People may fall at Total Fest, but they fall into soft grass, in the sun. And they are nude.

Some bands playing this year are Pierced Arrows, Akimbo, the Trucks, the Lights, PartMan PartHorse, Black Eyes and Neckties, Rad Touch, and Triclops! from SF.

Jeff from the Lights spoke about some of the goings on:

Can you talk Total Fest beer for me? Specifically keg beer.
Jeff: Well, in general, Josh Vanek (head honcho for Wantage USA record label) brews his own batch of “Total Beer.” This is quite tasty, ask the bros in Big Business and the dudes in Akimbo. After that everyone pretty much drinks whiskey and cheap beer until 4 AM. Josh is also known for making DIY elk jerky. Punk rock does not have to be vegan. Nor does it have to be anti-hunting and guns. Josh is proof. He also owns a potato cannon.

How late is late night at Total Fest?
The last time we played there we ended up playing an after hours party at 4 AM that was as decidedly debaucherous as it was disastrous musically.

Is there nudity?
Nudity is frequent. The first time I saw girls take their shirts off at a punk rock show was in Missoula. Missoulians are not afraid to take it up a notch. Seattleites take note, getting stupidly wasted and undressed is fun.

Everyone floats down a river, right?
Yeah. Saturday is usually the day everyone mellows out and heads up the river for a swim. Levis are cutoff, people get stoned. It’s fun to watch a bunch of dirt-bag rocker dudes in muscle tees act all wimpy when the icy river (glacial run off) goes above their testicles. Missoula is a fun town. It’s a perfect mix of DIY punk rockers and American-Gothic rednecks.

Pierced Arrows (ex Dead Moon) are playing this year. If Fred and Toodie Cole are not the grandparents of DIY punk rock then I don’t know who is.

Total Fest Line-Up after the jump.

Total Fest 2008 LINE-UP:

Band descriptions – here.

Federation X (Bellingham/Brooklyn)
The Lights (Seattle)
The Narrows (Bellingham)
Squalora (Portland)
Volumen (Missoula)
Akimbo (Seattle)
Bad Dudes (Los Angeles)
Bar Feeders (San Francisco)
Birthday Suits (Minneapolis)
Black Elk (Portland)
Black Eyes & Neckties (Bellingham)
Black Ladies (Chicago)
Black Velvet Elvis (Missoula)
Bridgebuilder (Missoula)
Casy & Brian (San Francisco)
Disgruntled Nation (Missoula/Kalispell)
Ex-Cocaine (Minneapolis/Missoula)
Goddammitboyhowdy (Browning)
JackTop Town (Missoula)
The Juveniles (Missoula)
Kingdom of Magic (Denver)
Lana Rebel (Portland)
The Limbs (Denver)
Lopez (Portland)
McDougall (Portland)
Noise Noise Noise (Billings)
Nudity (Olympia)
PartMan PartHorse (Seattle)
The Pasties (Olympia)
Pierced Arrows (Portland/Clackamas)
Pure Country Gold (Portland)
Rad Touch (Seattle)
Razz M’Tazz (Olympia)
Saviours (Oakland)
Secret Powers (Missoula)
The Sherlocks (Missoula)
Shotgun Moses (Missoula)
Damage Done (Seattle)
The Reddmen (Rapid City)
The Trucks (Bellingham)
This Runs On Blood (Flagstaff)
Titan (Brooklyn)
Triclops! (Oakland)
Vera (Missoula)
Why I Must Be Careful (Portland)

RSS icon Comments


This is shaping up to be the highlight of my summer for sure.

Posted by Jeff Kirby | August 6, 2008 1:20 PM

Shameless self promotion: Total Fest rules. This year's line up is tops.

What Kirby said.

Posted by Jeff | August 6, 2008 1:38 PM

What about that Silver Dollar place?

Posted by trent moorman | August 6, 2008 1:43 PM

Stop at 10,000 Silver Dollars. It's truck stop that sells tons of trinkets, knives, jewelry, leather and t-shirts with wolves and eagles on them.

They have a bar.

In the past there was no speed limit in Montana (there is now, but it is a "suggested" speed limit).

Also, in the past it was legal to have one open container, even if you were the driver.

10,000 Silver Dollars USED to sell whiskey cokes to go.

I miss the old days.

Posted by Jeff | August 6, 2008 1:48 PM

I agree - Totalfest rules it. I can't wait to eat can-shaped sandwiches at Staggering Ox, chicken fried steak at the Oxford and rock the fuck out for hours on end. I love Missoula.

I bought a sweet magnet at 10,000 Silver Dollars. It says "I lost my virginity but still have the box it came in."

Kirby - don't even think about getting me stoned.

Posted by starbird | August 6, 2008 3:47 PM

i cant wait to fuck the rock out

Posted by gary | August 6, 2008 5:49 PM

DIY Elk Jerky - what time do they play? Isn't that the guys from Truckasauras?

Posted by Phil | August 6, 2008 5:59 PM

And glacier runoff water is not good for testicles. Not good for the boys down there at all.

Posted by Phil | August 6, 2008 6:00 PM

the 10,000 silver dollar has upped the ante and is now the 50,000 silver dollar bar - they just slapped a five over the one! that's class. throw one down with the wooden patrons on your way by!

Posted by erin | August 7, 2008 11:08 AM

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